My thoughts are jumbled. They never seem to come out clean, in a straight line. Is that how they’re supposed to go? I don’t even know. Too many distractions. Even now. Especially now. Ugh. What’s this on the internet? There must be an article I haven’t read. Or a meme I haven’t seen. The incessant construction is maddening. Every morning it starts. Some days I’m startled out of sleep. Others, I’ve been up waiting for its inevitable commencement. What’s that? Oh, the dog across the hall going for another walk. His leash jingles every time. Or is it my neighbors keys? Who knows. Focus, I tell myself over and over again, as if that will help anything. It’s the same as telling someone to calm down. Calm down. Breathe. That’s another good one I try, so I can focus. And write. No dice. I wonder where that phrase came from. I guess I can guess, but I won’t. Here’s Danny, the cat. How cute and sweet — now, when he’s fed. When he’s not, he’s the greatest interrupter of all. Practiced and agile, he knows the right buttons. The right triggers, no matter the time or place, to get me up.
“Oh, you won’t get up?” I’m sure he thinks.
“That’s ok. I shall walk on your pillow — back and forth. And now across your chest. Back and forth. Don’t worry, I can keep this going all day. But I really hope it doesn’t take that long. I am hungry. Can you hear me? Can youuuu hear meeee?? Oh, you’ve locked me out? Not a problem, I shall scratch at the door until you rise and feed me. Why do you yell? That is unbecoming on you. I don’t understand this word, stop, you speak of. I want you to feed me. I see you sat down on the couch, no problem at all. I shall go try and eat this plant. I know it’s your favorite — what?? I was just going for a nibble. Gahh, not the spray bottle. Ok. Fine I shall wait. But I shall not be happy about it. I can’t wait anymore. I shall sit here and stare at you. This will work. This will work, I know it. It must. It must. What’s this? Are you getting up?? I shall make sure you can hear me loudly VERY LOUDLY. YOU ARE WALKING TOWARD THE FOOD CABINET. I CAN SEE. CAN YOU STILL HEAR ME??? I HOPE YOU CAN HEAR ME! I AM HERE. I AM HUNGRYYYYYYY. Oh, look. Food.”